If I stay single forever, will I be happy

Couple of days ago I came across a post which had this really interesting question. Rather it was an expression of the presence of question for the author of that post. And I couldn't resist thinking about it and commenting or replying the post with my thoughts about it.

Here is what I wrote..

I do not see a reason why one must decide and declare if he or she would stay single for ever or not.

This is not something that can be decided in advance. Important is that one should decide to be in a relationship carefully and also when moving out of it, it is important to make both the decisions for right reasons and very carefully.

You have a question here "if I stay single forever, will I be happy". Usually men or women conclude to the decision with contentment in life that they want to stay single for ever. I don't think it would work the other way. If you don't know that if you can be happy being single forever or not then this not the right time to even think about it.

The only way to figure out this would be to give yourself more opportunities and see for yourself. Give yourself the things that you feel are more important for you than being in a relation and from time to time see for yourself if you miss being in a relationship or not or if you enjoy being single more, this comparison is important as you do not have anything to compare with, and so that you could developed an informed "preference (not decision)".

Enforced by a situation where it is not a choice to be in a relationship, it would depend on this that how much you want to be in a relationship, if your first choice is to be single then it will be much more easier to look for things to replace your relationship priorities and it should just be fine.

Example of single yet happy people:
Gautam Buddha
Mother Teresa

Having high goals or aspirations and considering being in a relationship as a hinderance is not correct. Relationship constitutes of partners and if anyone is to be blamed are the contributing partners. Hence counterpart of relationship ie. being single does not prove to be an easier road to attainment of one's goals or aspirations.

Gautam Budha: Decided to leave his family to look for the answers to the questions he had. But he never decided to stay single till the point he realized that in order to attain Moksha he must detach himself from all the worldly relations and pleasures. So he made the decision of being single forever after realizing that he was getting something much more important to him in his life.

Mother Teresa decided to become a nun when she was really young as she had decided to serve God and the people for rest of her life. And her devotion to God can be felt through out her biography. So even she had something much more important in her life, that the question of relationship between being single and happiness never even came to her mind.

Right to Survive

With every girl raped, with anyone molested, with anyone murdered, we are losing our world's next leaders. The leaders who can make our world a better place to live for us and for our future generations. Yes we are losing our presidents, gold medal winning sport players or award winning scholars. After all who are all these bright shining starts from history, they are humans like you and me and from some us the right of being felt as a human has also been snatched away.

No matter how many biographies I may pick up, most of the great leader we have had were common men at first. No one can imagine that what would world look like if Gandhi would have been killed in custody after been captured from one of his peace protests, stamped as a potential terrorist. I am sure it would change our past, present and future entirely.

I have heard from a wise friend of mine that law works in its own unique way that someone guilty may escape but an innocent should not be punished, but ignoring the seen brutality is something that is purely shameful. It appears that law ceases to exist in many parts of world as clear examples of generalization and profiling based on religion, geographic birth or color etc are visible and are too many to be mentioned.

Generalization appears to be treated as someone infected from a deadly virus that might spread like fire in a forest. It is really unfortunately that those, to whom we have given power to decide on our behalf has decided to consider our characteristics as some virus and has claimed the right to capture, torture or even kill if required on their own discretion. It appears that in the bright shine of power the responsibilities which come along is lost and the phrase "with great power comes great responsibility" is laughed upon.

Globally media usually reports recent or vital incidents. But I give importance to incidents around me. And by around me I want to imply the entire world that surrounds me irrespective of artificial geographical boundaries.

Almost five years ago a news was reported about a woman been captured, raped and killed by army officials in Manipur, India. There was a massive protest and women came on road naked with banners in hands which said "Indian army rape us".

Indian forces fearing more protests, injured almost 100 women by usage of teargas shells, water cannons and rubber bullets. Even as I am writing this article, I can imagine some secret service forces to be breaking my windows and doors and throwing in teargas shells and pointing guns at me.

I am raising my voice and I am exercising my right to speech, so that my right to survive is not snatched away from me. This might raise more protests and as a matter of fact that is what I want.

Day 1 (Weekend Workplace)

OK so today is Day 1 from 365 Days of Aditya and I am really excited about this and I hope its gonna turn out good.

The place where I am in the photograph above is a Tea Bar called Passion My Cup of Tea, I go there and stay all day every weekend like today. I read things on Internet, blog, work and enjoy the environment.

I love the ambiance of this place and the service is also very nice. With lovely music playing all around, lovely drinks and food to have, it is real fun spending time there doing things I would get bored with otherwise.

Today I even went to my Salon and that too without appointment. Poor me I am looking so shabby in the Day 1 pic itself. Anyways it will not be like this tomorrow, taken the appointment this time.

365 Days of Aditya

I was just looking for a few photographs on Flickr and I landed on a album that is named 365 Days of Michelle. In no time I was able to understand what it was all about. It is an album of self portraits by Michelle, one self portrait per day.

I found the concept really interesting and even posted a comment to appreciate her creativity.

After a while I found that there is a group on Flickr called 365 days. I was really amazed to see so many people posting their portraits in that group. As photography is my passion how can I stay behind in this.

From today onwards I will also be posting one self portrait every day.

As very well said a photo is worth thousand words I am sure this will really express my personality, my nature, my daily experiences and moods in a fantastic manner.

I plan to post these photos on my blog, my picasa and flickr galleries.

Keep checking for updates ;)

Wonder Years is Back

Just came back from office and turned on the television. While jumping from one channel to another I heard the theme song of wonder years on Zee Cafe. I stoped and was really happy to see that Wonder Years is starting on television again on Zee Cafe and will be coming every Monday at 6 PM.

Though I really don't think I will be able to watch it but I am really happy to know that atleast others can see and feel experiences of teenagers in a better point of view.

NO MORE SMOKING MY LIFE - Before addiction

A major turn came in my life after I recently developed addiction for smoking. So I need to explain it in a bit more detail, so I thought of posting about it in parts and make it a series.

The first part explains about my point of view towards smoking and smokers before I started smoking.

No one in my family had ever smoked at least since I am seeing them around. It was quite obvious to develop a taboo image about smoking habits based on the family environment. When I was a kid my father used to tell me that when he was a kid and when he asked his dad for a beedi (tobacco rolled in a tobacco leaf, a kind of cigarette) how his dad beat him for that.

With the time I started to learn more about bad effects of smoking and developed even more clear picture about smoking in my mind. More over than just this, smoking seemed to me like a "slow suicide", committing a suicide is considered as crime in law but this slow suicide is not. Well precisely slow killing is supposed to be a crime but then smoking is an exception.

I guess now it must would have got a bit clear, how much I used to hate smoking.

When I was in 10th standard one of my friend tried making me smoke and told me, one should try everything in his life, at least once. It made quite a sense to me but I was scared of pain in throat I might feel for the first time after smoking. So he told me to just take the smoke in my mouth and release it. I did that, well there was nothing great about it as I wasn't taking any smoke inside. He asked me to try taking it inside but I refused. Later may be after several weeks I took one cigarette once again but dint take any smoke inside again, so I couldn't find any fun in doing that so never tried it again. Even being the fact how much I hated smoking the only and the only reason for trying smoking were his words that one should try everything at least once in life.

That was then but now I know that there is no point trying something just for the sake, that others are doing it too.


As far as smokers are concerned, if I was traveling in a three wheeler (a major mode of public commute in Delhi) and if the driver would start smoking then I would ask him throw it away or else I would get down. And not just that I would at least ask the driver a few things like if he is married, if he has any kids and finally tell him to quit smoking. I did used to get very strange response from them but it really dint matter to me anyways.

While in social circle I never used to mind turning my face on other side, taking a step away and sometimes even go away if a person with me would start smoking. I think the reason for this was the mental block I developed within myself about passive smoking and may be the disliking for smoking was getting turned into disliking for smokers as well.

I still remember the evening when I was traveling in a bus and passing by my first company I ever worked with, I saw a very old friend of mine standing in front of the office and in some time I noticed her holding a cigarette burning in her hand and then in a few seconds smoking from it. At first I was shocked and then in next few minutes I changed my point of view for her from a sweet, decent, friendly girl to a BLANK PAGE, I dint know what should I think about it, I never ever thought I would see her like that. We were childhood friends and I had the same impression of the same old friend I had years ago as after we moved to a new house we never met each other again.

The questions that came into my mind was, can anyone get changed so much over a period of time and under any circumstances.

One day I was with a friend of mine sitting at Basant Lok Complex (One of the most high class hang out places in Delhi) out side "Passion My Cup of Tea", sipping our tea and just opposite to it there is a disco called RPM. There were several girls coming out of the disc and several of them going inside. Most of the girls we could see there were smoking. I asked my friend that what do these girls get out of smoking, then she replied, most of them are not even smoking, if you see carefully then they don't inhale any smoke and just throw it away as soon as they take it in there mouth.

After that I noticed those girls and I was surprised to see what she said was absolutely correct. Now it was quite clear that its not just the addiction of smoking but addiction for looking cool and addiction for looking part of high class that is adding to the numbers or smoking addicts every day. In fact I guess that the most biggest reason for teenagers getting addicted to smoking is that they find other teenagers who smoke very COOL and tries to become like them!!

Note: I wanted to add few pictures but I am not adding them due to the fact that this page may be accessed by non smokers and in any way I don't want to promote smoking.

This post is tagged based on the tags for entire series, so few tags may not be relevant for this post.

My Treasure

I am really glad that I am sharing this with you. From several years I have a hobby or a habit you may say of collecting bills. My friends have always asked me this and even at times made fun of it by saying what are you going to do with these bills, if tomorrow we fight then will you ask for our share and I always used to smile at it.

I developed this habit when I dint had any camera of my own and always wanted to treasure the happy moments spend with my friends and those who I loved. So I thought that I sud start collecting bills when ever I will spend some time with my friends, well bills are something that you can get even at places where you cannot take a camera along, like in movie halls.

May it be movies, having dinner, travelling, gifts or anything, it was a habit now. I always enjoyed it. Initially I started with a small diary in which I used to keep these bills but over a period of time I had to move them to a bigger place.

It even has my first wallet that I ever had.

So now I am really glad to have this treasure of mine that might not cost anything to others but is priceless for me.

All my memories with those who are still with me and for those who had to part their ways all I want to say is I will always remember them.

Battle against me

Few of the most dangerous enemies of humans are anger, anxiety, expectations and curiosity. It is very important for us to get hold of them before they start controlling us.

Anger or frustration are result of access availability of energy within us. When we are not utilizing our energy efficiently it has to come out in one form or another. Anger tends to be the most easiest way of releasing energy hence we usually get rid of excess energy through anger.

As it is really hard to fully utilize our energy all the times, hence most of the times we end up getting angry or frustrated about things around. Another way of controlling the energy level within us is to reduce the level of energy.

To bring down energy level in me or in a way to punish myself for choosing a way that is destructive for me myself and for others around I had decided to fast and stay hungry every time I will get angry or get frustrated. It might not be a correct way to handle this but something needs to be done in order to control to avoid any problems in future.

And I believe that by doing this, it will remind me of staying hungry and thirsty every time I will get angry or frustrated about anything.

While I am writing this post I have already been hungry and thirsty for more than 18 hours and it may continue up to 24 hours. My definition of fasting is not that you don't eat any food but eat all the fruits and drink lot of health drinks. When I am fasting then I am really fasting, nothing to eat, nothing to drink.

I hope that soon I will be able to come up with some other ways to handle other most biggest enemies of mine and of the human kind.

Clear past == Clear future

While in my last company a colleague of mine told me about this TV series called Wonder Years which used to come on national TV long time ago. I thought I could get a copy for her and she would like to see it. Finally I arranged a copy of it but unfortunately I am still not able to give it to her. But now as I already have it I thought of watching it.

I have seen the entire first season of it and I am really finding it good. This TV series talks in depth about teenage life the question one can have and how things move around in a child's life. Feelings and situations are presented very beautifully. I really wonder if I would have seen this program when I was a child, things would have really been different for me.

The question I am grown up with and the ones that still haunts me are actually faced by Kevin the main character of the program. I am really amazed to see the overview perspective of a child's life. Now I heartily regret why didn't see this program when I was a kid.

In my childhood I used to see many things around, say for an instance like so many breakups between my class mates and I used to think that don't these guys have any true feelings for any one. But now I know what all things one has to go through.

Its not just about my childhood but the problems I used to face which were being left unsolved have got carried forward. Quite sure I am that this program is gonna make hell lot of things clear to me like why did they happen at all at the first place and what I could have done to avoid them. Obviously now when I will have a clearer picture of my past, I shall be able to construct a more better road for my future.

Thanks to my colleague without whom I would have never know about this fabulous TV program. Thanks a lot to her...

Looking for Activity Partner

It have been really a long time since I am looking for someone who shares common interests with me and be my activity partner. I just got an idea of posting a classified advertisement for it and I have finally done it. I have posted a classified adveritsement in Delhi's craiglist at:
http://delhi.craigslist.org/act/321186970.html

I hope to get a response soon... :)